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i feel worn out.just threw up on all the stress and uncertainties in life.very soon i will return this lappie,return the clothes and everything else.had a long chat with my dad.told him the truth and sort of revealed to him how scary my nature was.so much so i guess it kinda threw him off balance.i could see his eyes widening.well, i don't really care anymore.the nights i have spent on this course, the amount of hours they have lost understanding me...i really wonder why parents don't make an effort sometimes.have i not been telling them enough for me to accept ignorance?now in studio with heavy eyelids and incoherent language.i am tired.wanna sleep soon...sometimes i hope no one will bug me...
yes.i have found you.but i have lost you too.its very tiring to have two guys revolving around you.both treating you so well and loving you like you are the last.its driving me to the wall.him and me became friends while G and me are still friends.but ambiguity is shrouding amongst the three of us.and i hate to admit that i am in the midst of this tangled mass.i feel that G hasn't been very honest to me.well,what can i say?i am not THAT close to me and he isn't treating me what i feel a guy should treat me...i think i shouldn't be too close with him.shouldn't be too nice or give him any chance.i am tired of this love thing.of this mind torturing shit.every movie i watch just makes me cry.reminds me of what he has done for me.EVERYTHING.nobody is perfect and so he is the most perfect man i ever had in my life.i could foresee myself losing him soon.one day in a mall, he sees me and G/or whoever together, holding hands and dang!that's it i will lose him forever.i will regret it.i am sure and i am never so sure in my life that he's perfect.he's what every girl(or at least me) wants.someone that feels so much like my family, so much a part of my life that i can't do without him anymore.i must still talk to him every night,hear greetings from him every morning,be with him every now and then.just having him by my side.no words.no speech.just a smile.that's really enough.just him in my house.just him wiping my sweat.just him taking care of me.everything.there's no love in the world.just feelings grown as days past and communication.that feeling i have with angeline and kiyo and everyone else dear to me.my first.i can't leave him.i realized.cos i am part of him and he is part of me.why am i not doing anything to stop it?
heartfelt words that i'll need no one to believe,
time and actions will prove how much you truly mean to me.
darling,
I do not know how to use poems, neither do i have very good vocabulary.
A simple word 'love' has brought us together and it just makes me want to commit all of myself to only you and never to let you go.
You have made my life complete and i am a happy man to have found you. Watching you smile, watching you living well, your happiness has become my main priority in life. Every single thing you do has never failed to melt my heart and makes me feel so blessed. Darling, i have been moved and touched by your words. In this world where we belong, I am fortunate that i'm no longer alone.
I always hug you tight and kiss you long as each time i will spell out 'i love you' in my heart. I want you to be part of me and stick to me too, I love you so much that my patience will never run out on you as i know you will not take me for granted.
If you may, i'll take your hand, to let you be the happiest woman on earth for as long as you want, for as long as i can.
These four days while you're at camp, I really missed you a lot I really do.
I L U, Je'taime.
BEWARE readers!this is an ultra mushy post.
Before i head to camp, i would like to tell u how much love has blossomed and what i feel during these four days as we slogged through the nights and the untold pain that created spasms of love and desolation in our hearts...
Beautifully laced words are not enough to describe how i love you
so let me do it in an abstract way.
A Special World
A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.
Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.
And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.
- Sheelagh Lennon -
This might seem like a facade, a falsetto whatever, but i really want to tell u that u have made my life a living fairytale. You are meticulous.I am as though a thread on the needle. The kisses you have planted on my forehead how u cradled me to sleep made me feel like a little child. Your endless love and relentless care and concern for me. It never fails to make me feel like the happiest woman on earth. Dear, you have weaved out the finest intricacies of love and it makes me feel like a nightmare coming to an end. Even as all things seems to fail on me I know you never do and you will never let go of me. I love you for what you are and what you dofor me. Sometimes i feel like carressing you never letting you go, be a part of me and just stick to me. I L U.
Left the job at KPMG.really sad to leave the team aft so much we've been thru and aft reaching a certain bonding level with them.BUT it also spells the new beginning of my holidays once again!have been rushing through my cosplay and been out with friends day and night.didnt go clubbing aft butter fact and my friend Nix caught H1n1 during my faculty camp sparking the start of my "quarantine" days.
SO here went my quarantine:
yum cha at chinatown with ah boy
uniform outing with YTF
nights and days at home doing my ex-caliburn
ZARA shopping with IRIS!
though the camp ended abruptly, nice memories were taken away and i love the guys.we are going for a night picnic tmr at the barrage!yay!i am so excited about life now and french lessons with my boy on fri night!thru the days and nights we have slogged thru (or rather he has slogged thru for me) i realised that our bond has grew stronger and we can even hold hands tgt while sleeping and wake up with a kiss on my forehead!i love how i am tucked safe and sound in bed and how he swept me up (tried) to sleep on bed when i fell asleep at the sofa outta fatigue.really appreciative really sweet and the amt of graciousness and gratitude are beyond description.
THAT aside, my extensions are dropping one bundle a day.I am waiting till it hits ten before i head down to that goddamn place to fix it.OH and never in my dreams would i even think of owning MAC brushes and cosmetics but my boy just bought it for me.so now i am like building MAC empire in my room.: )OH and Why is it MY room and not MY hostel?!CAUSE BLOODY EUSOFF HALL REJECTED ME!WTF MAN.u guys will regret such a valuable asset like me and ah peng in your HALL.LOL.i rly hope i can get my license soon and my dad will just get me a mini red car for my next bday.That will be my birthday wish for next yr!haa..my presents just keep getting bigger and pricier by the age.OH WELLS i gotta take picts of my makeup empire soon and show ya guys!CIAO!
I am learning how to play like jason mraz.how to apply my hello kitty eyeshadows properly with the increasing need to buy brushes and how my skin sensitivity problem can be solved immed.
really sorry people but i can't go out in the sun for a week due to my skin sensitivity.
SO WHY THE SENSITIVITY??
cuz i went to a salon one day and requested to colour and perm my hair at one go.the result?drastic and least satisfactory.i dare say i will nt take picts for the time being.so due to the harsh chemicals seeping through my pores my skin got affected and now its flaking and making way for new skin.SO at the meantime do not be surprised if u see BIG white flakes on my head.its definitely not dandruff!hahas but due to the new epidermic layer i have to stay away frm the sun for the time being or it will be really scratchy and fugly.:/i need a BIG HAT or at least a cap to cover me frm the sun.i guess my skin just keeps renewing like nobody's business esp on my face too.
next fri i will go for lessons and tonight i will be coaching penguin chem!hope i can rmb everything!hahahas...my company's ppl are fussing over a domokun pencil case now.WOW.hahaha...
TOTALLY exhausted today.While i was having lunch with mei ling we just didn't talk much and my head was getting super dizzy from fatigue.i REALLY need a break.my colleagues were concerned bout my fake "demise" and i felt super guilty.still,i ain't gonna say anything bout it. My isetan job is blown due to cosplay.damn.i seriously don't know how to manage my finances but at the same time i will just sit down and talk to my dad.I am going to ask two hundred dollars from him to finance my uni shopping.LOL.niways,life is a blast at the moment and i hope there will not be ANYMORE downsides all small talks.i m RLY happy and i hate it when someone tries to bring it down.i feel so fucking exhausted within this short span of three days frm all the things happening.till now i m still short of words to say cos i m like really brain dead.my rest was wasted.totally.
on the side note again...
HAPPY BDAY IN ADV JLO and yay to the pri sch outing this fri!
CONGRATS JAMES FOR BEING ATTACHED!:D
really happy for u guys:)
