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this was it..this was the day,let me emphasize more clearly a life changing day for everyone.When the results of the no of ppl promoted in each class was released, i felt a surge of adrenaline through mii nifty brain cells, then my heart took a plunge when i saw two retainees.darn it.the worst part was my eyelids.it kept twitching..jump,jump,jump..there was absolutely no stop to that unbearable twitch.Let me remind you once again its the right eyelid, and its proven to be an ultimately bad omen.when the results were out,i didn't even bother to look at the results (till now i still dunno my actual score,yea,its really that serious for me). Mr Leong then eyed at us to leave the class room and it was down to the last six (two peeps are gonna be retained).i prayed and i stared expressionlessly at the people walking pass below me. Before i knew it someone told me it was amanda and royston....i broke down, i cried like shit even though i knew all these were coming sooner or later..i couldn't believe my ears,my best fren and my soon-to-be gd boy-fren...mii eyes instantly clouded with tears..the rest of the ytf broke down instantly..i knew i was an ugly sight but i couldn't care anymore..i lost two frens in one day and everything just feels so incomplete, so empty and unfriendly..i dunno why but hot tears kept rolling down my cheeks, its been 2 yrs since i ever cried so badly..its as though the fren who is my confidante,my sleepover buddy,my crazy pal,my innocent and cute pal, the pal whom i trust, mii..well the list goes on and on and i cannot imagine how lonely i'll ever be without you in drama and in class...and hey..you are really the best fren i ever had...i love you gal..i can feel the lump in my throat,it's coming again dammit..why?i really hate to see this...mucus,tears and bitterness jammed and cracked up my heart which is cold for a long time now...this is too traumatising,i don't even dare to think about what's gonna happen in the future..and to royston:you are one of the nicest guy i've ever seen in the class and though we did not hit it off well in the beginning, i'm coming to like you now (not love) and thanks for being a great leader, you are one of the most systematic and hardworking ppl i ever seen in my life...hope we'll stay in contact and talk bout cheena stuff again..man.this is gettin damn emo..i dunno what will happen..how to get over this..---swallowed and drowned by the river of tears
alright people..i admit i m evil playing in this rs eventually but i can't help it..i jus hate guys who dun treasure me as a stead..well, i finally concluded game's over after thinking long and hard..its kinda ironical how much i wanted to stay in this game but i guess i'll be on a losing end still so i kinda end it before things got worst..if u dun wanna stay with me then stop being a loser jus tell it straight in my face..i've gotten so tough now i m not a bit apologetic for this..sorry for being a bitch (to my frens)dun be shocked or mistaken..its still me..its still good ol' sharon :) so today i finally braced myself and went out with ed..its been a long time eva since we ate and sing tgt..he's still mii best male buddy eva since i entered jc..aft havin a bf i can fill him up with lies so that mii bf wun get angry ova the fact that i'm going out with a guy.ridiculous isn't it?aft mths of passive stoicism, i finally broke free from the chains of love..i guess i wun be goin back into a r/s any time soon..a lil traumatised..but i did apologised to ed for mii lies and he forgave mii..nice fren isn't he?so we sat on the creaky wooden floors at vivo and looked at the azure sky slowly turinin gray, pouring our hearts out about our failed relationships..i stared into the once-beautiful view in front of me (sentosa..its undergoing construction now) and listenin to the occasional honks of the ferries, it struck mii suddenly how silly i am..how dumb i was to overlook so much things just because of a guy..how i lost mii freedom and frens cos of a person who doesn't treasure mii at all..
beep..
the msg signal rang as i opened it..it was him..hah..he wrote..hello,hope you enjoyed the past few days,do take care when u go to the hosp tmr..end of msg..so false so insincere..inside mii,i screamed..if u dun care dun bother to!u r not the only one in the world that send mii that msg and that was the most bland..the most boring msg i eva received..it took mii awhile to calm down as i recalled all the misgivings and pain..
exaggerating isn't it?well...i shall put all these behind me..so i deleted it off..beep the phone went again and the msg was gone..for eva...the memories began to slowly un-etched from mii mind..mii heart no longer thud loudly and painfully..as lucas said.."life is good" :)
